Today I’m going to speak to you not as a coach but as a woman, as a human being.
Self sabotage is rife in all of us when we are used to negative thought patterns and then to add to everything we are exposed to all the time (media/ other people’s natural disposition) can sometimes put us into self sabotage mode.
I really want to write about this in depth because you until very recently this was my pattern and now I see it in my clients too
It’s really normal, especially when your life has been filled with trauma or negative emotional experiences
But I am here to reassure you it IS a pattern and one that can be broken. It may not feel like it right now because right now you may not even be able to recognise those patterns right now.
Self sabotage is defined as when we actively or passively take steps to prevent ourselves from reaching our goals. This behaviour can affect nearly every aspect of your life. So whether you are looking to lose weight, find your ideal relationship, a huge business or career goal – literally anything!
What most people don’t explain is that it comes from a place of low self worth, when we want control and we fear both success and failure.
This can manifest in instant gratification such as impulse buying, procrastinating, delaying or missing your self care routine, paying constant attention to your negative thoughts
The hardest part is often identifying the behaviour, especially if it’s practically your whole life! I help my clients to make personalised plans – they are personalised depending on their own personal circumstances and commitments.
Some of my clients have kids, others don’t. Some people have jobs they love, others work from home and some are stay at home parents. There is no one size fits all. There’s a size that’s perfect for you and therefore should be tailor made for you. That’s why I’m not a huge fan of the cookie cutter approach
I will say once you start to recognise your patterns is the only way you can live towards repacking your negative patterns of sabotage
Make a note of them and the thoughts you are having and question thoughts that don’t serve you
Ask yourself these few questions to require your brain
1. Is this thought true?
2. Is it absolutely true?
3. If it was true how does it make you feel?
4. What is the opposite of thought in number 1
5. Can you find examples in your real life of number 4
Are there any here that resonate with you?
Reach out to me if you need help or clarity in this area
With lots of love and gratitude